Central Perk versus the White House
by jasadin
Summary: A series of unrelated FriendsWW crossover fics. Random Friends episodes mixed in with our favourite West Wing characters. NUMBER TWO: TOW Chandler crosses the line
1. TOW Rachel's Assistant

I'm going to write a series of unrelated Friends/WW crossover fics. Just randomly choosing episodes I like from any season of Friends and then throwing a few West Wing characters into the mix. So here's the first one. From season 7: TOW Rachel's Assistant

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**Title:** Central Perk versus the White House

**Author:** Missjasadin

**Rating:** PG

**Fandoms: **West Wing, Friends

**Characters:** Josh, Donna, all of the Friends gang

**Disclaimer:** I don't ANY of these characters

**Summary:** Given the chance to employ her own assistant, Rachel overlooks more able female candidates in favour of a young, attractive man.

**Authors Notes: **In this fic - Josh and Donna are dating and Donna is Phoebe's cousin.

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**The One With Rachel's Assistant**

Everyone was seated around the lounges in Monica, Chandler and Phoebe's apartment where they were finishing watching the first episode of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E., Joey's new series.

_Mac: "Well, if we learned one thing today C.H.E.E.S.E. is that cheerleaders and high explosives don't mix." _

_C.H.E.E.S.E: You can say that again Mac._

_Mac: Well, I couldn't have done it without you buddy. You're a genius._

_C.H.E.E.S.E: Oh yeah? Well then how come I can't get my VCR to stop blinking 12:00? _

_Both laugh._

Joey turned off the television set and turned to face his friends.

"So, what did you guys think?"

Everyone beamed at him, unsure exactly how to express their real thoughts on the show without completely crushing Joey's good spirits. Suddenly the phone rang and everybody scrambled to get to it first. Monica who was sitting closest was able to grab it up the fastest and answer.

"Hello?" she asked, then paused listening for a reply. "Hold on please. Joey, it's your mum." She told him handing him the phone.

"Awwwwwwww" everyone cooed at him, causing him to leave the room to escape their teasing.

"His mummy called to congratulate him." Josh smirked.

Donna narrowed her eyes at him, a sure sign that he had just said the wrong thing. Realising what was about to happen but not reacting quickly enough, Josh yelped in pain as Donna's hand connected with the back of his head.

"What was that, Joshua? Teasing somebody about their mother? I'm sure everybody in the room would be interested in finding out about the little accident you had in the new shoes YOUR mother sent you!"

"Mum, so what did you think?" Joey spoke into the phone, not having heard any of the continued conversation in the lounge area.

While Joey was distracted talking to his mother, everyone turned to each other to discuss his latest television program.

"Well that was umm…Okay." Rachel cringed as she remembered the acting she had just been forced to watch. That was an hour of her life that she would never see again.

"It wasn't the best." Ross commented.

Chandler looked at them, both, then stated bluntly. "That was one of the worse things ever. And not just on TV."

"But what are we going to tell him?" Donna asked, feeling sorry for their friend.

"Well," Ross hesitated before saying, "the lighting was okay."

"Ohh no you don't!" Rachel jabbed her finger at his chest. "You got lighting last time, lighting is mine!"

"I bags costumes."

"Great! Just great! That means I'm stuck with, "So, we were watching you in there (Points to the TV) and you were sittin' right here! Whoa!"" Ross sighed is resignation.

Donna looked around the group eyes wide. "You mean you've had to do this before?"

Chandler nodded ruefully. "We should really be used to it by now. We have the basic script of what to say all ready and then we apply it to the correct situation. Joey hasn't quite yet found the show that will 'make him'."

"Actually, DOOL was a pretty big deal" Rachel commented.

"DOOL?" Josh smirked

"Days of Our Lives" Rachel and Donna shouted in unison. Hearing them Joey turned and gave them a thumbs up.

Josh shook his head in disbelief at his girlfriend. "You mean that you actually watch that crap?"

Donna looked at him pointedly. "I used to. You know, back when I had a life. Before a certain egotistical boss decided that it was best that I didn't see the light of day for eight years."

"Wow. What a slave driver" Phoebe commented. "You should quit."

Josh stared at her shocked, but being Phoebe she was oblivious. Donna bit back a smile at the man beside her.

Bringing the conversation back on track Rachel asked her friend. "What are you gonna do Pheebs?"

"I don't know. I can't lie to him again. Oh no I—no! I'm just gonna press my breasts up against him."

"And say nothing?" Chandler asked incredulously.

"Uh-huh," she nodded. "Yeah that's right."

Joey hung up the phone and walked back over to the group.

"Wow! Well, my folks really liked it!" He grinned at them excitedly. "So what-what did you guys think?"

Phoebe smiled and walked up to him. Then without warning she grabbed him close to her pressing her breasts against him.

Joey grinned sheepishly. "Awww… Pheebs. It wasn't that good."

* * *

Phoebe and Monica sat in comfortable silence on the lounge in Central Perk each reading a magazine.

Rachel entered the café a bounce in her step and upon seeing called out excitedly as she approached. "Oh my God! You'll never going to believe happened to me today! I am sitting in my office and…"

"You guys! You guys! You're not gonna believe what my agent just told me!" Joey shouted excitedly as he saw them as he exited the bathroom.

"Joey!" Rachel glared at him. "Kinda in the middle of a story here!"

"Ooh, sorry. Sorry. You finish, go."

"Okay, so anyway," Rachel sat down in between Monica and Rachel and continued her story. "I'm sittin' in my office and guess who walks in."

"I'm gonna be on two TV shows!" Joey exclaimed.

"Oh, that's great!" Both Phoebe and Monica stood to give their friend a hug.

"Joey!" Rachel yelled

"Oh, you weren't finished?" Joey had the courtesy to look slightly abashed.

"Yeah! Guess who walks into my office is the end of my story." She replied her voice dripping with sarcasm. Turning back to Monica and Phoebe she continued. "It was Ralph Lauren!"

Monica and Phoebe gasped. "Yes! Ralph Lauren walked into my office!"

"Uh Rach, if you're gonna start another story, at least let me finish mine." Joey requested.

"It's the same story."

"Wow, it's really long." Joey groaned in disgust.

Rachel ignored him, persistent to finally tell her story. "Anyway, Ralph just came in to tell me that he's so happy with my work that he wants me to be the new merchandising manager for polo retail."

"Still get a discount on wedding dresses?" Monica questioned her.

"Yeah!"

"I'm so happy for you!" Monica exclaimed as they hugged again.

Joey nodded in understanding. "Well, these really are the days of our lives."

"What!" They all turned to look at him.

"Well, since you ask. They want me back on _Days of Our Lives_!" Joey exclaimed.

"I got—I get a big pay raise!" Rachel interjected.

"I'll be playing Drake Ramoray's twin brother, Stryker!" he shouted in return, as they each tried to up the others tale.

Phoebe and Monica sat in the middle, their heads turning each way, trying to take in all the information that was being thrown at them, while still displaying their enthusiasm for each person.

"I get to hire my own assistant!" Rachel finally shouted.

The girls went and hugged her in excitement.

* * *

"Chandler, you have an assistant right?" Rachel asked her friend.

"Did she call?" He asked her angrily "You-you told her I was sick right? Always tell her I am sick!"

Rachel looked at him oddly. "No, I-I just don't know how you decide who to hire. I mean I've got it narrowed down to two people. One of them has great references and a lot of experience and then there's this guy, Tag's his name…

"What about him?" Donna asked.

"I love him. He's so pretty I wanna cry! I don't know what to do. Tell me what to do."

"Come on you know what to do! You hire the first one! You don't hire an assistant because they're cute! You hire them because they're qualified." Phoebe told her.

"But why can't I hire him? There's -" Rachel tried to reason. She sighed. "Okay, I hear what you're saying and-and-and that makes a lot of sense but can I just say one more thing?"

She took a photograph from her pocket. "Look how pretty!"

"Let's see." Phoebe grabbed the picture from her, while Donna looked at it over Phoebe's shoulder, grinning appreciatively. Groaning in disgust, Josh stood up, grabbed her hand and pulled her to him, forcing her to sit on his lap.

"Awww… jealous?" Donna grinned at him.

"Do I have reason to be?" He smirked back at her.

"Noooo" she responded hesitantly, managing to hold back the smirk which threatened to spread across her face.

Josh grinned at her, knowing she was messing with him, but tightened his hold on her nevertheless.

"Oh my God!" Phoebe exclaimed as she took in the man in the photograph "Oh… But no! No! You can't-you can't hire him, because that—it's not professional. Umm, but this is for me, yes?" She asked pocketing the photograph.

Rachel sighed. "Okay you're right. I'll hire Hilda tomorrow. Dumb old perfect for the job Hilda!"

"Let me see this guy." Chandler asked holding out his hand to Phoebe who handed him the picture. "W-Wow! Don't show this to Monica!" He looked around at the smirking group nervously. "And don't tell her about the W-Wow!" he added as an afterthought.

* * *

Rachel entered her apartment a few days later to be welcomed to the site of Phoebe giving Joey a massage.

"Hey" Phoebe greeted her. "Ooh, how's Hilda? Is she working out?"

"Ohh, my new **assistant** is working out, yes." Rachel nodded pressing her lips together.

"Was she happy you gave her the job?" Joey inquired.

"Oh, my-my new assistant has very happy that I hired my new assistant."

Fortunately the phone rang interrupting her interrogation and she quickly fled to the safety of her room.

* * *

Rachel and Tag were standing just outside her office, when Phoebe, Donna and Josh entered the room, having made lunch plans with her earlier that morning.

"Hi! Rachel Green's office." Tag greeted them as they entered.

"You must be Hilda." Phoebe answered, narrowing her eyes at Rachel.

"Yeah, this is Tag. Tag, this is my friend Phoebe and her cousin, Donna, and Donna's boyfriend Josh. Can I see you guys for a second?" Rachel asked entering her office and motioning for them to follow.

"Phoebe! That's a great name." Tag smiled at her.

"Oh, you like that?" Phoebe winked at him. "You should hear my phone number."

Donna laughed at their blatant flirting and then followed as Rachel dragged her cousin into her office.

"So you hired yourself a little treat did ya?" Phoebe asked irritably, as Rachel shut the office door, ensuring that Tag would not be privy to their conversation.

"All right I know, I know how it looks Pheebs, but I'm telling you…" Rachel was interrupted by an angry Phoebe.

"But you know you cannot get involved with your assistant!"

"Why? Why not? What's wrong with me wanting to date my assistant?" Rachel asked furiously. "Donna, you're an assistant and you're dating your boss!" She turned to her friend, hoping to get some support from someone in a similar situation.

"Rachel! That is completely different! For one thing, Donna and Josh and actually in love and for another they waited five years to make a move."

"But maybe Tag and I will fall in love. We don't know that until we try and I don't think that I could wait five years…"

"Donna, back me up here" Phoebe said looking at her cousin.

"I'm not really sure what to say Phoebs. I mean, Rach, if you know that this is just going to be a fling, then don't do anything – this could seriously hurt your career. But on the other hand…."

"Donna, you should understand. You and Josh would have gotten together five years ago if you hadn't waited for the sake of your jobs!"

"Yeah, I get what you mean Rachel, but Josh and I have already discussed this and we've decided that we're not going to have any regrets over the past. Well except Amy…" Donna cringed "What I mean is that, yes, we could have gotten together five years ago but who knows what our relationship would have been like. Maybe we needed to become good friends first before we pursued a relationship. Anyway, back then, Josh probably would have freaked out at the first sign of commitment."

"Hey!" Josh yelped

"What? It's true."

"I know, but it doesn't mean that you have to go and tell everyone!"

"Yes, I know that hiring him was probably not the smartest thing that I've ever done." Rachel signed. "Fine. From this moment on, I swear that everything between Tag and myself will be strictly professional."

There is a knock on the door.

"Yes?"

Kathy, one of Rachel's co-workers entered the room. "Hey Rachel! Cute assistant! What's his story? Is he…"

"Gay?" Rachel asked. She nodded her head at her sadly. "Yeah."

She grinned sheepishly at the glares she received from the others.

* * *

"Do you have a minute?" Tag asked Rachel when he entered her office later that afternoon.

"Well yeah, sure, what's up?" Rachel gestured to him to take a seat across from her.

"I got asked out twice today when I was at lunch…" Tag explained tentatively, "by guys. Did you tell someone that I was gay?" He asked her cautiously.

"Oh, did you not want people to know that?" Rachel adopted a shocked expression at his comments.

"But I'm not gay. And I especially wouldn't want you to think I was gay."

"Why's that?" Rachel's heart fluttered slightly as she waited anxiously for his reply.

"I don't think I should say."

"Ohh, you can say. Come on, I don't want you to feel like you can't tell me things."

"Well…" He began hesitantly. I'd love to ask out your friend Phoebe."

There was a pause as Rachel absorbed his words. "Yeah, she's gay." She finally told him.

**End**


	2. TOW Chandler crosses the line

**Not related in ANY way to the first fic. They are ALL separate.**

**Okay, in this, Donna is friends with the whole FRIENDS gang. It doesn't matter how she knows them. Oh and the Friends live in Washington. Other than that, both worlds remain exactly the same.**

**This fic is based Friends episode: The One Where Chandler crosses a line' – season 4.**

**

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**The One Where Chandler Crosses a Line**

"Snap! Ha ha! I win again!" Cheered Monica from her position on the couch. Ross, Donna and Rachel glared at her.

"Maybe is you didn't stick your nails in our hands to prevent us from 'snapping' the rest of us would actually have a chance!" Ross told her angrily.

"Maybe you should stop being such a baby!" she retorted. "Ohhhh, I'm so scared" she mocked as he gave her 'the hand.'

"Will you guys shut up for a minute? I'm trying to write a song. Listen." Phoebe began to sing.

"_Little, tiny Tarzan, swinging on a nose hair. Swinging with the greatest of ease… _ Darn it! Now, I don't know who to get to the next verse."

"Oh, you could just go uh, "_greatest of ease_…" Ross began to sing, miming playing the air guitar. "BAH-bah-bha-bhannn." Then go right into it."

"Wow. That actually works!" Phoebe nodded at him impressed. "Wait! How do you know about 'bah-bah-bha-bhan?"

"Well umm, y'know, I used to play."

"Oh yeah. The keyboards, right?"

"Yeah, just a little in high school, but then I really got into it in college. I mean that's-that's when I really found my sound."

Monica who was taking a drink as Ross spoke, burst into laughter, snorting into her drink.

"Oh God! Orange juice just came out of my nose, but it was totally worth it. Oh my God, I completely forgot about your sound." She grinned widely remembering what a loser her brother had been back when they were younger. She frowned slightly, not a lot had changed.

"Yeah."

"He used to lock himself in the basement for hours. No one was every allowed to hear, '_The Sound'_."

"I wanna hear '_The Sound'_"" Donna grinned at him enthusiastically.

"Really? No. I mean, nah, I haven't played in so long, and-and, well it's-it's really personal stuff, y'know?" Ross spoke hesitantly.

"Come on, play that funky music white boy." Phoebe encouraged him.

"No, I can't. I mean my keyboards are all the up in my apartment… yeah, okay!" Ross jumped off the couch and practically ran to the front door.

"Don't do anywhere!" He shouted behind him. "I'll be back soon."

* * *

**Later that day**

Everyone was gathered around Monica and Rachel's living room, waiting for Ross to begin playing.

"Okay, guys. Ready…" Ross smiled nervously, and took a deep breath.

"All right! Bring it on, you…" Chandler cheered.

"Here we go." Ross placed his hands on the keyboard and played…. one note.

"You know. I've never played my stuff for anyone before, so it's important that-that you understand it's about communicating very private emotions." He pressed down on another note, its sound echoing around the room.

"Y'know, umm, you should-you should think of umm, my work as wordless sound poems. That's what I'm…"

"Oh, for the love of God. Play dammit!" Chandler interrupted him getting impatient.

Ross nodded and began to play. Well if you could call it playing…

He pressed a key, which began to play a backbeat, then as the background music played, he inserted the sound of a barking dog, a mooing cow, a laser beam, someone coughing, a jackhammer, a doorbell, a police siren, a ray gun, breaking dishes.

Finally he finished. Everybody sat in stunned silence, at a loss for words.

"That was-that was, umm… terrific." Monica mumbled eyes wide. Donna smiled at him widely, unable to think of a response that wouldn't upset him.

"Really, bitchin'!" Chandler encouraged.

"Wow, it was so—wow!" Phoebe looked at him, her eyes glazed over in wonder.

"Really! I mean, really!" Ross asked them excitedly.

"Yeah," Rachel nodded encouragingly, "I mean, you should play in public!"

Ross gave them a smile filled with gratitude "Wow! Thanks, you guys. That's uh-" He took a quick breath to get his emotions under control. Donna bit her lip, trying to prevent a giggle from escaping. "Ohhh, I wanna, I wanna play you another piece! Umm! Uh-oh! I left my uh, helicopter sounds on another disk. I'll be right back! Okay?"

He ran to the door, but paused before leaving the room. "This is so nice, I'm—I am so…" He left quickly so that wouldn't see him beginning to break up.

"Oh God bless my dad sound proofing the basement!" Monica praised looking gratefully at the ceiling.

"Oh, I can't believe I ever let him touch me with those fingers." Rachel cringed, shuddering. Donna grinned at them in amusement, not having known Ross for very long, so able to laugh at his annoyances from a distance.

"What are you guys talking about, I loved it!" Phoebe announced. "It was soo moving. Oh, plus it's just, it's so different from the stuff you usually hear."

"You mean like, music?" Chandler asked.

* * *

**The next day - Central Perk**

Ross was using his keyboard to alter his voice, making it sound like a computer. "Electrifying." Pressing a button, the ticking of a clock suddenly began. "Emphatic time-time-time…"

Monica grimaced and looked at Rachel and Phoebe. "Y'know, there's a _Starbucks_ about three blocks down."

Phoebe pushed Monica back onto the couch, preventing her from leaving. "It's so inspired! Look at him! Look at him go!"

Ross was just finishing his song. Ending it with a crash. There were a few hesitant claps from the audience, mostly because he had finished.

Ross speaking into his microphone with the mechanical voice again said, "Thank you guys-guys-guys…"

"Hey, aren't you up next?" Monica asked turning to Phoebe.

"Oh no," Phoebe shook her head, "I'm not playing tonight."

"What? Why not?" Rachel inquired.

"I can't follow Ross!" Phoebe looked at them with a shocked expression. "It'd be like those bicycle ridding chimps that followed _The Beetles_. No."

"Phoebe, Ross sucks!" Monica stated.

Rachel added, "Phoebe, the place has emptied because of him."

"Oh my God, he's not even appreciated in his own time. I would give anything to not be appreciated in my own time!" Phoebe cried.

Rachel and Monica looked at each other, and agreed with each other silently.

"Okay. Umm, Phoebe," Monica began, "you suck too."

"Yeah, Phoebe you're… awful!" Rachel confirmed.

Phoebe smiled at them, giving them each a hug. "Awww, you guys. You suck too."

* * *

**A few days later - Central Perk**

Ross approached Phoebe after he finished his set. She had been watching the whole thing with rapt attention. He took a seat next to her on the lounge.

"Ross, you were brilliant! I mean, if we knew any kings or Presidents or anything, you would definitely be playing for them, at all kinds of major events!" Phoebe announced admiringly.

"Awww Pheebs, I dunno…. Really, you think so?" Ross's eyes widened at the thought of playing for royalty.

"Yeah, definitely! It's just too bad that we don't any Kings, or you know, court jesters…"

"No, we only know Donna." Ross sighed. "Wait a second… That's it! Donna!"

"What? What about Donna?" Phoebe shouted.

"Pheebs, do you really think I'm good enough to play for the President?"

"Of course, Ross."

"Then I'm going to go ring Donna. She knows the President. Maybe, she can get me into the White House. Maybe even if it's just in the foyer for starters. She can cleverly arrange for the President to walk by… and bam! There you go, suddenly I'm in!"

Ross stood quickly. "Okay, Pheebs, I've got to go to work now. But as soon as I get home, I'm going to ring Donna and tell her. Thanks so much." He gave her a quick hug and exited the room.

Phoebe remained seated on the lounge, flipping through one of coffee house's magazines, stopping every so often to read an article. She looked up when Monica greeted her as she entered the coffee house.

"Hey, Mon. You'll never guess what? Ross is going to ask Donna to play at the White House!"

"What!" Monica replied stunned.

"Yes, because we were talking you know about Kings and court Jesters and anyway, we thought that it would be great if he could share his music with the President! And Donna's heard him play, there's no way that she's going to be able to turn him down. He's a musical genius. So gifted." Phoebe sighed; thinking of how much better Ross was than her. Shaking herself, she brightened up, happy for her friends' success.

"Oh my God. I have to ring her. Make this horror stop!" Monica's expression was one of pure horror as she imagined Ross playing his cow noises for Ross.

She pulled out her cell phone and called Donna.

"Hi, Donna? It's Monica. Yeah, hi. Okay, I'm just calling to warn you that sometime today Ross will be making a call to you. Yes, hew wants you to use your influence in the White House to get him an audience with the President. He wants to share 'the Sound' with him. Yes, I know. It's a disaster waiting to happen. So yeah, just try to let him down lightly. Okay, that's all. See you later. Bye."

She sighed as she hung up the phone. "Well I'm glad that's fixed." Monica looked up to see Phoebe staring at her in anger.

"You're really so jealous of your brother's musical talent that you would sabotage him in this way. I am shocked and appalled!"

* * *

Ross dialed Donna's number and waited for her to answer the phone.

"Donna, hi. It's me, Ross."

"Oh hi Ross. How are you?"

"Good, thanks. Umm, I have a favour to ask you."

"Okay, I'm listening… but I'm not sure if I'll be able to help."

"Okay, well you've heard me play so you already know what I sound like. But Phoebe and I were talking today and she thought that it might be nice if I shared my music with the people working in the White House. And you know, if the President happened to overhear about my performance and could fit it into his schedule to walk by, then so it."

"Oh Ross. We'd love to have you play but..." Donna turned her attention away from the phone for a second as she heard her boss shout for her. Rolling her eyes, she turned her attention back to the phone where she heard Ross speaking.

"Really? Oh Donna I can't tell you how happy I am top hear that. Okay so I'll come by some time tomorrow morning. Thanks, you won't regret this."

"Ross? Ross? Are you there?"

* * *

"Okay, guys. Ready?" Ross smiled at his friends who had come to support his big performance. "Let's go in."

They were all gathered just outside the White House, Ross with his portable keyboard tucked safely under his arm. They entered and suddenly were surrounded by five security guards.

"I'm sorry, sir. But please put down the object, take a step and place your hands on your head." One of them said to him.

"What? What do you mean? I'm here to play for the President!" Ross shouted. "Look, just go ask Donna Moss. She works in the West Wing…"

Monica slipped past the group and to the sign-in desk. "Hi my names Monica Gellar," she told the woman sitting there, "would you be able to contact Josh Lyman's office and tell her that I'm here. I don't think that she knew I was coming."

The woman nodded at her and dialed. After speaking into the phone a few times, she looked up to Monica. "She said that she'd be down in a minute to sign you in."

"Okay, thanks." Monica made her way back to the group, where the security guards had discovered that Ross was not in fact a terrorist.

"Donna, will be here in a minute."

"Actually, there she is now." Rachel said pointing at their fast approaching friend. Donna halted in front of the group, gasping for breath.

"Oh my! What did you guys do? There have been security alerts all over the building!" Donna finally managed to pant.

"I was just coming into set up, when these guys" Ross gestured at the guards who had returned to their posts, "decided that I was some type of terrorist."

"You were coming to play? But on the phone yesterday, I said that you wouldn't be able too." Donna frowned.

Ross looked at her puzzled. "But I heard you. You said that you'd love to have me play."

"And then I went on to say, that unfortunately you won't be able to because the vetting process is much to difficult and we only have performers on very special; occasions and they are already booked." Ross's face fell.

"Oh I'm sorry, Ross." Donna looked at his crestfallen expression. "I'm sure that you would have been wonderful" she continued, ignoring the grimaces she could see on Chandler and Monica's faces.

Ross sighed. "Okay then. I guess we'd better get going then. No point hanging around if I'm not going to be playing. Thanks anyway Donna."

Ross turned to leave.

"Donnatella!" Somebody shouted out Donna's name. She turned to see Josh running up to her.

"Josh? What's wrong? Are you okay?" the words flew from her mouth in a rush.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he said, "it's the President."

Everyone gasped and Donna's hand flew to her mouth. "Oh no! What happened?"

"What?" Josh looked puzzled for a second before he realised what they were all thinking. "Oh, no - nothing like that. It's just he wondered why you had to race out of the Oval so quickly and so I explained to him what happened…" he trailed off, glancing at her friends, who stood sheepishly, listening in the conversation.

"Anyway, he's got it into his mind, that somebody has come to play for him, and so," Josh announced dramatically, "he would like for you and your friends to go up into the West Wing and entertain his staff."

He turned to Ross and Phoebe, who had brought her guitar incase Ross needed backup. "So what do you say?"

Ross gaped at him "You mean? Yes, yes!"

Donna turned to Josh, pulling him in for a quick hug. "Thanks." She made sure the others weren't listening, and then whispered quietly. "But are you sure. I mean I told you the other day what he sounded like."

Josh grinned at her. "I think that this will be rather entertaining. Anyway, everybody thinks that you recommended this guy, so nobody is going to trust your taste in talent EVER again."

Donna's mouth fell open and she hit him across the back of the head. "Oww, Donna!"

"You deserved that. Com on everybody, let's go in." She took a deep breath and led her friends into the West Wing, Josh walking alongside her grumbling about losing brain cells.

* * *

Donna had set Ross up in the middle of the bullpen, a few people had stopped work to come and listen to him. But once he started people flocked from everywhere to see where the terrible noise was coming from.

Donna looked up to see CJ advancing on the group. Fortunately Ross was so caught up in his music that he was oblivious to anything around him. "Joshua Lyman! I just know that this is YOUR doing!"

Josh smirked and wrapped his arm around his assistant's shoulders. "Actually CJ, you can thank Donna here, for discovering this twenty-first century Mozart."

CJ looked shocked and Donna closed her eyes in embarrassment. "He's a friend…" she began.

"Well as a friend you should have told him that he sucks." CJ stated. She stood beside the group to listen to Ross's 'sound'. "He's pretty cute though," she commented. "Is he single?"

Donna nodded, not daring to speak, incase she burst out laughing. Ross had just started mixing his fire engine noises with the one of the ducks quacking.

Suddenly a silence fell over the West Wing. Everything was quiet. Well, except for Ross and his 'sound'. Ross seemed to be oblivious to everything around him.

Rachel quickly walked to the power point and unplugged Ross's keyboard.

"Hey!" he shouted, and then noticed the silence surrounding him. His eyes widened as he noticed the cause of the silence.

"Mr…Mr President" he stammered.

"Good morning, Mr Gellar, is it?" The President walked up to Ross shaking his hand.

"Donnatella? Where are you? We must let everybody see the lovely lady who brought this man into our corridors. Everyone, make sure you remember this name. Donnatella Moss." The President grinned at her, his hand on her shoulder with an evil glint in his eye. Donna flushed a deep red.

"Okay, young man. Let's see what you can play." The President took a few steps back and went to stand beside Donna. "We are going to be having a LONG chat later, about lying to one's friends." He told her smiling.

Josh let out a burst of laughter. Donna elbowed him in the stomach.

"What was that Josh? You would like to come also? Excellent" The President grinned at them, "I'll see you both tonight at eight o'clock."

Then they all stood and listened as Ross shared with them, 'his sound.'

* * *

**The Next Day – Central Perk**

"Hey!" Ross said to Phoebe cheerfully as he sat down next to his friend.

"Hey! You were really great! You were really, really great! So impressive. I mean, you already know that because you played for the President and all…"

"Yeah I did. But thanks, thanks. So Monica tells me that you don't really want me to play anymore. Because of my talent. Is that true?" He asked her questioningly.

"Well, kinda. Yeah."

"Pheebs…"

"Yeah, I-I can't—I mean y'know I was trying to be really y'know okay and upbeat about it, I just—I feel so dwarfed by your musical gift. I…"

"See but, Pheebs that-that is the exact opposite intent of my music. You know that my music is meant to inspire. If it really bothers you this much, then I promise, I won't play anymore."

"Oh no. No-no-no, don't do that! How could I live with myself if I knew I was depriving the world of your music."

"Yeah, okay."

* * *

**That afternoon – Central Perk**

"Oh my God, he's lost it. He's totally lost it."

Monica reached up and removing the ear plugs from her ears. "What?"

"Phoebe, his music could not **get** any worse. There are rats in the basement that are hanging themselves." Donna responded.

Ross finished his piece with a bang, which was greeted with some applause.

"Thank you, thanks." Ross said, and then approached the girls sitting down next to them. "Yeah, I lost it. Y'know, I'm not gonna play anymore," He looked at Phoebe, "would you, can you finish my set?"

"After that?" Phoebe asked "Hell yeah! No, I mean, sure, if I can help."

Phoebe stood up with her guitar and made her way onto the stage to begin playing. Ross stood and moved to sit alongside Donna, Monica and Rachel.

"Yeah, like I could **lose** it." He laughed.

"What?" Rachel asked

"I played bad on purpose guys." Ross whispered to them, looking up to make sure that Phoebe didn't overhear them.

The girls laughed.

"Okay, so you were trying to play bad this whole time." Monica asked him relieved.

Ross frowned. "Yeah—no, just that last song."

END


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